My spine had betrayed me
when God has created me
with a figment of my heart
hidden in every corner of my back,
with the pain of the world
felt in every nerve of every muscle
of my perfectly fine body

My spine had betrayed me
when I was born and
it birthed a whole heart of its own
and a whole mind of her own
in the nooks and corners of her bones.

For any pain, I was to not
have to face in my life,
for any misery that I was to evade
from my privileged destiny,
my back had other plans

For every door, my heart
would close to feel,
for every emotion my brilliant brain
would guard against me,
my back had another plan.

My back said a big fuck you
to my logical educated
rich brilliant privileged distant self;
My back felt.

It felt the pain in a billion eyes.
And it cried.
It heard the million helpless yearns A
nd it wept and wept for days on end.
It read the news my eyes closed mind ignored
And it hurt and hurt and hurt till dawn.
My back betrayed me when I was born.

My back turned away
on 20 years of education
that made me an efficient machine
from an emotional human

My back evaded all the classes where I was taught
apathy, ignorance, indifference to other classes,
My back jumped out the window and hugged
every heart filled with thorns piercing deep inside
its every muscle nerve and bone,

My back the sadistic creature living inside my body
loved the pain, yearned the pain,
the last attempt to keep me a woman
from the machine, I was told to become,
educated to become,

My back tried to bring back my hips with it
to the realm of emotions and pain
and human and woman,
My hips hurt and cried
waiting for your hand that would maybe
turn you back to a human from the machine
you had became.

My back betrayed the plans of the universe,
of my career, of my success, of my ego, of myself,
waiting for you every day every night, every moment,
every living second for the last embrace
before this machine would announce my humanity dead.