I got shot Straight in my back By my own family & friends Never thought In my wildest dreams They’d turn out like that And like any Bollywood Or Hollywood thriller packed movie Bullets in my body I ran I escaped Ran and ran and ran way And I stumbled on you
Blood oozing from my back My conscience slipping away Pain chilling down the spine Legs weak and wasted And I crashed in your arms I thought you saw the blood and the wounds Coz I saw you running also away from the goons I thought our pain was same I thought you also felt Under-qualified over-scared Under prepared over stressed You catered the wound Poured some meds on Covered it up Took a few bullets out Left some in The poison contributed to spread Slow stead lead the way But I was alive Some wounds healed fine Some deep-rooted ones The souvenir bullets Had to stay They’d calcify with time Become the part of my entity Beneath the scars Wrapped in layers Would forever stay these lead bullets The memory of my origin Evidence of past Failed to kill instantly will now be destined to destroy slowly
The next time I ran into you I adeptly evaded those goons They ran and ran and ran Behind me But I twisted and turned And hid and jumped And just standing across you I arrived I paused I looked around And they were nowhere My hands shaking My body panting Scared for my life Scared for your death Scared for my crimes Scared for your innocence I hit the break from the run I was engaged in And you were standing Right across Right in front Right at the door It was like finally I am safe Finally he has seen me Finally I can take a break Finally he can be himself Finally I can break the wall You were standing Merely 6 feet away You saw my tired bones I saw your broken home You felt me near collapse I felt you holding cards in the air You felt my pain I felt your panic Your felt my crimes I felt your innocence I just wanted to collapse Let go of myself Legs and hands and neck Just close my eyes and give away Close my eyes and fall flat on my face You could see it You could feel it And you wanted to take one step Reduce the six feet of distance Your hands started to reach towards me You sensed my soul falling Left with no will no energy Leaning into you To be held by you And cry and cry Till the end of the night
I wanted to cry for you I wanted to howl for me I wanted to cry for 20 crore Disenfranchised beings I wanted to cry for 100 crore Monstrous grotesque souls I wanted to hold your legs And disintegrate myself Melt my ego Melt my privilege In the puddle around your legs And I can’t say for you But there was something I saw in you Maybe I cooked in my head Or maybe we had a special sense
I sensed the human Behind the metal facade of the machine I felt truckload care Hiding behind the fcukboi cools I saw anger and endless anger Hanging between the two sides of the soul I saw denial and rage On alternate stages I felt you were closed and cold for so long Unheard unsaid the hearts of aches I felt you saw me I saw you You know I felt what you were scared of I felt I could process This deep dark fear and pain With a little help of your hand Maybe I could feel what you needed to But couldn’t Maybe you could give the support I needed to have but didn’t
But I stopped A full big definite step Six feet away You didn’t move ahead Not one step you cleared I was destined to fall I had no strength But my independent body intervened It kept my neck strong & high up I tried to collapse Seeking your arms Not for tomorrow or the day after But right now right here And I looked around and sought the arms My eyes scanned ahead and beside For fingers reaching forward For steps walking ahead For a look of surprise & care Like I could stumble But not flat face on the floor For a shoulder would appear And break my fall
But no step moved forward No fingers headed my way No eyes looked up To stare straight at the decay No hero appeared For the villains of the days No shoulder entrusted To protect the bone damage So my body built its second life
It built another brain The fall had started But my body found the strength to Catch its way My spine got a new jolt No longer was it riddled with holes My legs sterned firm No longer they sought ground in front I stood straight I stood tall A smile appeared Bright and wide My eyes looked beyond your face The droplets hid in behind the gaze To a world where I didn’t care I no longer shook no longer stumbled Straight tall proud confident Not look vulnerable deep in your eyes I Walked snob swift brushed aside 6 feet of fall was now 600 miles tall
I crossed you I held my emotions tight Heavy heart locked away from sight Tears behind the concrete dam For sometimes even walls can sense And you were a full human man A man with the heart A man with soul A man very aware Of the pain of the hole Piercing right through our nerves Crushing every bone And you were a man With a billion tears For each brother Martyred in war And you were a man With a million fears For each mother Helpless in home And you hid your pain Behind your childish smile Behind your casual cloak Behind the unbalanced soul And I walked fast and swift Rich bitch neither cared nor knows And I walked beside hiding my eyes Away from the moment I had kissed you And I walked beside claiming my rights Away from the whole, I gave you And I walked away dying that night From the feelings, I told you And I walked away with my ghost From the woman, I introduced you to.
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